It's easy to say to forget everything, but it's really hard.
When only I could become my old self?
He asked me, and I asked myself.
It's when I stop having mood swings and no more day dreaming.
For 2 days I've been troubled with it.
He wants the old me.
The plain old me.
The one who goes crazy around hitting the people around her whenever she laugh.
Well-known for her rough and tough look for one who hardly have any trouble other than money issue.

But now, here I am.
One could been swept away by thought whenever she's seating down and have no discussions or topics to be thought about.
Could only be seen smiling when people all around make jokes and laughter.
When silence's around there she goes.
Mesmerized.
By all funny thoughts that could eventually drown her one day.

He was asking when could all these come to an end?
When could I be the normal me?
Me myself too was wondering.

I know he was the one who's getting hurt more than anyone else.
It's a fact that couldn't be denied.
His heart was already broken into thousands of pieces.
When he told me, my heart sank. I lay flat on the table.
Looking blankly at the messages I received.
Stop hurting him?
I wanted too.
But it seems like there's nothing much mended other than making him suffer more.
Another loser I am.

Time is the only healing that would be for me.
But I'm afraid it would take much longer than we expected.
The feelings are indeed unbearable and the fear of him couldn't bear it any much longer if he sees me day dreaming again stroke me in the center of my heart.
Yet, What could I do?

Act?
Forcing myself to smile as though nothing had ever happened?
I did.
But it seems like it was really forced to.
I'm blank now.

Today that's the new me starting my life all over again.
Telling myself what are the do's and don'ts.
I guess I really deserve someone better.
For example, the one who I am with now!
The one who cares for me all along although he's the one who's getting hurt for no reason.
Staying sweet and cheers me up for when I'm unhappy for some other reasons that he doesn't like.
Yes, that's him ~ Wonder! My Lao Kong. <3
=)

In two days time, I've been stupid enough to do all foolish stuffs.
Witnessed how one loser accused someone for someone else' doing.
Saw how much one could turn really mean and black-hearted when being accused.
Saw how one could really do for the one he loves.
Leaving all his egoistic and do what he's capable of for the particular someone.
Realizing Love itself can really turned into Hatred when it wasn't handled in a proper way.
Realizing that the world is indeed unfair and it's a Dog-eat-Dog world.

But...
I believe all these will come to an end one day.
Again...
Karma and Effect.
Maybe you don't believe it's true, but it's observing every little thing you're doing.

Yes, I'm one of those whose I mentioned.
I seriously never thought of things happened in such a way that could just spin my mind off its sanity.
Being half-conscious and mesmerized, I knew it's really timed for me to totally let go of everything I used to worry about.
Something I need not to!
Blaming myself is a part of it, but surely there were some who should be bearing more of the responsible and yet they don't!
All I can do now is to just forgive and forget!
It is hard, and today, silence did all the talking.
Making the one who really cared for me worrying over something I'm obsessed of.
I felt I'm self-centered and inconsiderate.
That's the shit I was today!

Now, I'm awaken.
Just needed the time to prove everything and let my mind getting used to it.
I know~
There's lots of things that I should be worrying over other than these unnecessary issues.
I admitted I was too reluctant to let go before these.
Now that I saw and witnessed what I should.
Knowing the reality behind those curtains.
All I wished was to curse those losers to death!
I do!
But.
He's the one who changed my mind, though I'm still not used to the decisions made.
Still I knew it was the right thing to do.
Forgetting all these.

Letting off another burden and lead my life to its fullest!
With the one who really cares for me.
=)

I swore to do it in a months' time.
Like I said, I'd achieve something I want if I were determined enough!
I know I could do it, with his help.

Now, to the losers : Bless you!
I'm getting used to things around me without you!
Life's much better.
<3

Again I have to summarize my blog here and there again as there were happenings all around.
I don't like doing these but it surely will make me way lot more convenient.
On last Friday, was the last blog I made. Therefore today, I would be updating you the following dates with pictures again. I just knew that nowadays I'd prefer links than putting up picts (I was lazy!) =P

First, I would like to begin with the outing with my family on the
19th December 2010.
Went of to the market at Raja Tun Uda in the morning and eventually we've gotten ourselves something. It was a real big market over there.
Call me "sua pa kau" or whatever but indeed it's unlike our market in Penang here. It's somekind like a shopping place for those who intended to find something they want with affordable pricing. Of course, you can find anything if you have the heart even though it's hard to find.
I've gotten him a necklace. The pendant is real cute.
It's for Christmas + 100days anniversary.
Though I don't like to count the times we had spent together using days, but I'll do it for the first time as a memory. =)
Right after the market outing with Mum, we headed back home getting ourselves ready for high tea while waiting for Lao Kong to arrive.
Our destination : Clinic Cafe!!!
A clinic themed restaurant. Cosplay restaurant in Gurney Plaza.
Took lots of pictures there. My Mum was laughing mad! Although the food don't taste as good as it seemed to be, at least the decorations do make people felt attracted. The other thing people do other than eating there is taking pictures of course. And that's what we did! With the tools and apparatus they used, many funny pictures can be taken without much trouble.

Click here for the pictures uploaded in Facebook.
Too many of them to be uploaded here. =P

The pricing is just so-so. I should say we paid for the decorations, not the food!
At least my Mum experienced it as she wanted. Still, she prefer T-Bowl. xD
Her next destination?
Obake-Ya! It's located at Leith Street.
I've done some research and it's a prison themed japanese restaurant.
My Mum insisted she wanted to try out different sorts of decorating in various restaurants in Penang. =) Here is the research made for our next to-go place.

Here's roughly the pictures of it.
I will experience the rest of it myself. =D

20th December 2010
is the Big-big day for Hamster. Oh yes~
It's her BIRTHDAY!!!
We had our dinner at the Steamboat House.
Which was actually supposed to be made on Last Thursday but we then post phone it to Monday instead for her.
Lao Kong dropped me there and I was late that time. =P Sorry people.
But the attendance was not really satisfying.
Not much pictures taken but it couldn't used to describe the fun we had back then.
One word to describe the fun we had : WHOA~~~
Another one to represent my condition that time : BOOM~!
My cooking = Goddess! xD
I couldn't deny that it was hot, but the taste was just great.
For no doubt they were addicted to it!
I enjoyed myself with the girls' LOVE : Ice-creams! Haha~
We were all busying with the Kappas and Prawns!
To make our dinner there worth it!
Lao Kong picked me up at 10 something and got him an ice-cream as I promised him. =P
He made all the trouble there and occupy himself at the cybercafe while waiting for my event to end. <3 Too bad, the night ended just like how we expected! Those who attended the steamboat event eventually result in having diarrhoea from consuming too many kappas~ Well, I'm not excluded either! xD The night itself was a nightmare suffering rushing to toilet. Hahaha... Now I shall let the pictures do its job. For the pictures, there's been 2 sections. Enjoy~
First one~
Continued by...

21st December 2010
was another memorable day to remember.
Qiu Jia's birthday!
Yes, the birthday events did dried up my pocket but this place we went was really worth it for its lunch sets if you have no where to go in the noon!
Smoky Jack! Located at Upper Penang Road just right beside Segafredo.
Usual thing I do : The research > Click here to go to the website! =D
I rushed to Gurney for her present. Getting people present was like getting ourselves big-headed! Decisions are hard to be made. So we gotten her Maybelline Mascara and a Concealer. Thank God I did as her's were running out. xD
Again, Lao Kong troubled himself for my convenience and I felt guilty doing so although he insisted. Hmmm~
Let me continue with the lunch we had.
We had our seat in the barrel and the decorations were real nice.
I love the woods dangling all around making the place looked jungle-like.
The pricing like I had mentioned, was affordable for the set lunch. We even took the picture of the receipt for our orders.
Pictures of the pricing and the Food : Comes with starters and dessert. >> Click here! Now the most important part was the taste of the food!
One word : DELICIOUS! Yum-yum~
We then headed to Straits Quay after our lunch and took lots of pictures there. Jia Min even took 2 pictures using her precious instant camera by her Ash. The pictures taken were cute!

Now for this section, my pictures comes in 2 parts again. xD All the combinations of Smoky Jack and Straits Quay pictures.
From Jia Min's album.

From mine~ =P

Lao Kong picked me up again and the usual chores were done like the every other days.
At night, I decided to give him the necklace I bought!
I tricked him to on the air-conditioner for me and left the necklace on the table. He saw it and he's been really happy. I'm really satisfied that I managed to put a smile on his face.
Love you loads! =)


22nd December 2010 : A day for movie!
>>> The Chronicles of Narnia : The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.
The movie was great! I was kind of amazed with how they made the movie so real and amusing though I knew it was just computerized. Still~
Wow!

23rd December 2010
Woke up early in the morning to see Lao kong's face appearing in front of me.
Felt all satisfied and relaxing. =D
Classes like usual and Lao Kong asked me what I want for Christmas prezzie. Of course I requested for nothing. LOL! There's nothing I want more other than happiness and health for everyone. He'd been bugging me about it and I have to stick close to him in order to ensure he did not do so when he had a chance to. I know~ Call me a glue or what-so-ever! xD

24th December 2010 : Christmas Eve!!!
*I hear bells ringing in my ears!=D Lao Kong came over to my house early in red!
*Don't know whose "clever" idea telling us to wear red for Christmas Eve!*
As a result, I ended up like a potato in disguise. xD
Our schedule was organized for the whole day. I have to go over his house as he had to fetch Norman and Mot.
Then I was surprised with his superior acting in the car.
And all his arrangements.
Eventually, he went off to Gurney to get my presents early in the morning!
Awww~
My heart really melted when I saw the card actually not knowing there were actually more for me.
Let me tell you the sequences and let you be envy. =P

Lao Kong (in Hokkien) : Eh! What's that white thing that fell on the floor??? (The Card)
1. Open the packet in front of you. (The Earring)
2. Find the thing behind your seat. (The Storybook)
3. Find a box under your seat. (The Bracelet)
My face expression by then : I don't know! =D
All I can say was Thank You and I love you Lao Kong! And Now I will say it again.
Thanks and Love You loads!!! =D

Fetched Mot and Norman and off to Queensbay Mall. The parking was the difficult part! The basement car park was nothing but cars!!! Lots of lots of cars! Half an hour to get an empty place for ourselves. Met up with Steven and the others in front of GSC. We then collected our movie tickets and the guys were craving for lunch. Food court was nearby then Nick and Mun Yee met up with us over there.
Movie of the day : >>> Just Call Me Nobody.
Rating : 8/10 (to me)
Then, they planned to go for a set of bowling game in Sunshine Square.
Dinner at Victoria Station!
No pictures, so of course I'll provide you the link!
>>> Click for the web page of the restaurant.
Shall let you see the receipt.
The receipt itself was valued up to RM500!!! xD
If interested I'll sell it to you for only 30bucks. Hahhahahah!
We then go over to Lao Kong's old house for the night!
Played Uno, Monopoly, Big 2, Chess and Snake and Ladder,
the Make-No-Sense game! *from Lee!*
Me and Jas had to run up and down for the 2 Birthday guy : Nick and Norman! Getting their cake, looking for the candles and plates as well as thinking how they should eat the cake as there's no water supply other than drinking water over there. xD
We called it a day at 3 something to 4 am.
Being tired, Lao Kong and I plonked ourselves on bed and snored till the morning! Too bad we hadn't take any picture for the day itself but still the day was maximum fun!!!

25th December 2010 (Today)
Woke up early in the morning to find out that Lao Kong was having
high fever!
Terus down~ =( Spent whole day today looking after him making sure he was alright. His fever subsided for an hour when we were going over to Genting for lunch and the heat came back again after that. His Mum took him to the clinic and his body temperature was 40 something Degree Celsius which could have burnt a person's mind off their sanity!
I was worried sick!
Had no choice but to come home unable to keep him accompanied.
Hope he'll get well by tomorrow morning. =(

It's a Friday now.
Another week coming to an end.
Lots of happening for the last few weeks.
I'll just say out the events and let the pictures in Facebook do the sayings.
Move your cursor to the links and just give it a click to look at the pictures.

1. 28th November 2010 : T-Bowl with Mummy and Daddy, of course with Lao Kong.
2. 3rd December 2010 : Inter-Campus Sports Carnival in KL. Lake Ching fainted! Jun lost her handphone.
   
3. 4th December 2010 : 1st and 2nd match with Perak and KL. Sunway pyramid with those crazy bunch of people and knew Wiing! Party Night! Stayed up whole night!
   
4. 5th December 2010 : Supporting for Males team for 3rd and 4th placing. That's when we made LOTS of friends! Closing ceremony! On our way back home to Penang Voiceless!
   
5. 9th December 2010 : Went to Tesco to buy ingredients for Friday's dinner! Went QB on the day itself to dine with his family.
   
6. 10th December 2010 : Lunch with Lao Kong at E-Gate. And prepared dinner for the night! Sandwiches and Spagetthi. Main ingredient : SAUSAGES!
   
7. 14th December 2010 : Bailey's and Dolly's sad happening.
8. 16th December 2010 : Accounts Test 2. Super easy! Was supposed to be going for steamboat with TARC Basketball team but cancelled. Ended up in Gurney with Wonder and his parents instead! The night before sleep is indeed suffering.
   

Today???
I.O.M Test 2~~~
Screwed myself for couldn't concentrate when revising last minute! Refer back to the last two posts for the reasons.
Did badly for the test. Ruin my mood of the day! Lao Kong's presentation is over and the only good news is that I've got an A for summary test and Lao Kong gotten an A-!
The only satisfying part.
Wrote my blog with tears dripping.
Lao Kong sleeping soundly beside me.
I do wish he could gave me a hug, but it's bettr for things to stay these way.
He shouldn't be worrying anymore.

Bailey and Dolly.

Thinking back of dogs, I've lost one.
Perhaps I should say that it was my Mum who let it off.
It was such a heartache looking at her and worry for her.
The fear of her being wet when rain pours and unable to look for foods just couldn't subside off from my mind.
The worst thing is that my Mum turns out to be leading her away farer and farer.
She's a good dog.
She'd came back for us.
My tears just couldn't stop dripping whenever I'm thinking about her.

The last I saw her was on Tuesday 15th of December.
She'd been so thin that I'm able to saw her rib bones.
I feel so useless for being unable to bring her home other than just bring her food and find her whenever I'm able to.
On that day itself, Hideaki told me he found her.
I rushed down as fast as I could and I could never ever forget her happy face and jumping towards me. She's missed us so badly but she's just forbidden to go home. Whenever she ran back home, she'll be brought down again by my sister and every single time she went back, the farer she would be brought.
It had been a few times they had been doing these.
When she saw me, she was so obedient. Sat when I ordered her to and she lied on the hard, tar-coated road just to roll down and play with me.
Giving me her hand just like what I used to asked her to do last time every single time I gave her a pat.
I gave her food and looked around for clean water to drink. She'd been so pathetically hungry and missed home I'm sure. I feel so bad for couldn't stay there longer as I have to go over to Lao Kong's house. She followed me to the back car park even though I asked her to go away and stay where she were. She was so determined to follow me even when the other dogs were barking hard on her. She even even nearly bitten by them but thank god I lead her away.
the rain started pouring and it was heart-wrenching looking out of the car staring at her looking out for me when I tried to get away. I couldn't bear the feelings any much longer and I called out for her name. It was pouring hard!
I was such a SCUM!
She came running around my car and knew I was in there. I opened the door and asked to come in. She did not but stayed there looking at me blankly. The roadside uncle stared at me but I paid him no attention! All I want was to asked Bailey to get in the car!
I even get down from the car to pull her in, but it was like as if she knew she wasn't supposed to be allowed to. She just keep moving away but still at the same spot.
I had no choice but to just drive away. I made a round back and felt better when I saw her going back into our flat compound. Still, I cried in the car on my way to his house.

But what I did not know about is that she was heading back to our home after I left her there!
Once again, she was brought to a farer place this time! Farer than I could imagine.
I thought that I would be seeing her again if she's just somewhere near home and at least I could feed her once in a while.
I guess I couldn't be doing so any longer now.
I still wished that she could find her way back to our flat compound but not going back home.
Although I knew it's kind of hard for her to do so.

While for Dolly, my aunt's white with brown patched Shi Tzu, passed away on the day itself.
Cute little mischievious doggie. Indeed it was really saddening watching our own pet die.
I knew how it felt when my hamster died in my hands where I watched her stretching hard for her last breath with my very own eyes.
So did my aunt.
She couldn't survive from the injections that was overdosed as she was having severe vommiting and diarrhoea.
I wished her rest in peace and reincarnate into something better in her next life.
As for Nicky, her the other half, seemed to be quite depressed as she would be no longer playing under the chairs with him.

Dogs could really be human's best friend and they serve their loyalty more than us human do.
I hope the ones wandering would find their best comfort and shelther for themselves.
So do Bailey.