It's easy to say to forget everything, but it's really hard.
When only I could become my old self?
He asked me, and I asked myself.
It's when I stop having mood swings and no more day dreaming.
For 2 days I've been troubled with it.
He wants the old me.
The plain old me.
The one who goes crazy around hitting the people around her whenever she laugh.
Well-known for her rough and tough look for one who hardly have any trouble other than money issue.

But now, here I am.
One could been swept away by thought whenever she's seating down and have no discussions or topics to be thought about.
Could only be seen smiling when people all around make jokes and laughter.
When silence's around there she goes.
Mesmerized.
By all funny thoughts that could eventually drown her one day.

He was asking when could all these come to an end?
When could I be the normal me?
Me myself too was wondering.

I know he was the one who's getting hurt more than anyone else.
It's a fact that couldn't be denied.
His heart was already broken into thousands of pieces.
When he told me, my heart sank. I lay flat on the table.
Looking blankly at the messages I received.
Stop hurting him?
I wanted too.
But it seems like there's nothing much mended other than making him suffer more.
Another loser I am.

Time is the only healing that would be for me.
But I'm afraid it would take much longer than we expected.
The feelings are indeed unbearable and the fear of him couldn't bear it any much longer if he sees me day dreaming again stroke me in the center of my heart.
Yet, What could I do?

Act?
Forcing myself to smile as though nothing had ever happened?
I did.
But it seems like it was really forced to.
I'm blank now.