Things not Done~

Things are still quite complicated now... Hardly have time to blog... Exams, Work, and Relationships are killing me! I'm just so tired... Thank God, I've got today to get myself relieved... Thanks to Ah Kiam, Pauline, Ashwin, and Hidea for this trip... =) Although it's just a visit to the Taiping Zoo and Gurney, it helps in everything... It ended up to be quite tiring... Still, I'm so afraid now... Its like whatever decisions I've made, Either someone's going to get hurt... I'm so uncertain about him... Now, I'm also afraid for myself... Which, I doubted his faithfulness... =(

I fell for HIM! At first I thought it was just a crush, which turned out to be not just a crush... Well, people who do not know the whole truth must be thinking that I left Hidea for Him just like that... There just another few reasons behind all these... But, I guess I shall not explain much... I knew myself well... But, it doesn't make me feel any better than a Jerk! Hidea is like a good guy I know... But what people do not know well bout him is that there's just so many stuffs undiscovered by them! Argh!!! I don't know how now... If only they know how am I feeling wouldn't that be like so much better??? I'd really don't know how to express my feelings to them! T.T

I'm really confused with everything now... All I know is that I screwed everthing up! =C

Big Surprise!

Things really got complicated right now... 4 years relationship done... It's actually our problems... But it ended up being my family's problem instead! My Mum is now strongly disagree that I broke up with him... It's now not his fault but mine! Great, my parents are now actually scolding me! They actually supported him more than me!

WTF???

I've got different opinions now... Some agreed and some respected my decision... While some strongly disagree with what I'm doing... People like my Mum and Dad! Damn~ It's my fault la I guess... They say its worth it for me to continue with him... I guess my heart was blew all around~ Before these, my sister is supporting him too... But now my sister just have to shut her ass up as she's afraid that the lecture might be for her after mine... xD

I did my decision very firmly... But now, my parents = BIG FACTOR of RESISTANCE!

They LOVED him!!!

What should I do? I'm stucked! While examination tomorrow! Shit!!!

No Life.

It's great to not having class on some certain days... Today and tomorrow are a part of it... I finally get to woke up late today... But, I did nothing for my exam this coming Wednesday... Yes, NOTHING for Hubungan Etnik! Shit me... All I did today was to go Tesco with Pau, Ah Kiam and him to buy ingredients for spaggethi!!! It tasted somekind of fried rice as we used the different pasta this time... I bought the "alphabet pasta" and it looked like rice when being served... The taste was not bad at least... =D

I got my rest for an hour before I went off to Sg. Ara again... As usual, official table... That girl again... I was way more furious than the last time she did the timer! Only two matches, and it had to end at 11 o'clock! Mata Parker! She did nothing for her job! Talked all way long with her tomboy friend, and treated like as though I'm the one who will be getting the salary and she was not... Kinda fed up with it... I bet everyone would be feeling the same if they were standing at my position... Even the referees said so that they thought only two official tables were working instead of 3!!! Time hardly pass... Damn~

Reached home and all I need to do was to clean up my house... It was all messed up as usual... Thanks to that Berry... I'd killed it if it wasn't a DOG!!! Felt so much better anyway after cleaning the floor... Fuhh~ I guess it was a little worth to do so... It's still my own house anyway... =D

~signing off~

Lots of things happened in these several days... And it happened quite fast... Of course, there were unhappy stuffs and also some happy ones... Things were actually getting quite complicated... All I need is some time... It will heal the pain in me...

Well, since it had been quite a few days since the last post, I shall tell you some of the happenings... It was Ash's birthday on Saturday... We enjoyed hanging-out at Gurney... Happy time passed quite fat... *As usual* Ah Kiam, Ash, Pau and I spent most of our time chatting and shared about our tales... LOL! First, dinner at Sakae Sushi, got a Darlie as a gift... =P Next, was the beach... That time when we were busy talking, Jas and the others urged me to get back home to go online... Which I'm quite upset as I do not like being pushed around... Things were hard to be explained... I knew they were worried, but, I know what I had to do! I was quite stressed-up and very frustrated... All I wanted is to get back what I deserved to! My time! I need something to get my emotion and feelings soothened... I don't mean anything bad here but... You know... Like I said, I need to scream... I still need to... But, maybe I should be alone by that time it happens... =C

The next day was group studying with Wonder, Steven, Jas and Iron Man... Wonder first came to fetch me and helped me to get my "SLK" mirror taped for temporary... After that, we headed to Iron Man's house to get him fetched... Well... I guess we did not really study our Accounts... Instead, we were playing around with the "solution"... Mixture of beer, chocolate, papers, eraser dust, small pieces of broken protractor, the ink of my broken pen, and some other things... I was actually quite furious when Jas gave out the condition that I must totally forget Him and consider Wonder... Love is not a game! I hated to say that but, I was really upset! All I can do was just keep myself quiet... I don't wanna cry there... I don't want to! =C Of course I was really emo... I can't help it!

That night things actually got better... Me and Him settled it nicely and reached our agreements... Now I know, my own decision is the only important thing in whatever I do... Yes, I do listen to opinions... But not too much! I've got my own limitations and whatever I can bear it up to mind... I know what I'm doing and trust me... I do not want to hurt anyone... =1 Let things be natural... It will lead to the right path... I know... I'm sure of it...

Today, I've got to wake up superb damn early for official table in CLHS this morning... The match was supposed to start at 8, but it ended up starting at 9 as the refrees were late... As the match goes on, I found out that our newbie refres, who acted like they've been so experienced and clever enough to guide the matches, their skills were doubted by me! Or I shall say EVERYONE! The match went quite smoothly until the end of the 4th quarter when the game was about to end in 5 seconds time... The score opposite our officials were different from ours... I was fucking sure that it was their mistakes! If they doubted our ability, Don't ask me to do it! I guess I should had messed up the whole game... I hated people with no respect towards me... I may look small, but in me, I DON'T!

I had to admit that I was quite exhausted this afternoon... Fell asleep for a few minutes and I had to get myself refreshed again for official table in Sg. Ara... Finals... The last match was great... Heng Ee vs Chong You... Although both teams were quite supported by me, the audiences made me changed my mind... So I supported Heng Ee instead of being neutral... The attitude of the people who lived there and the way they speak towards the opponent were offendsive.. That kind of spirit should not be happening when it comes to sports... That shows totally no fighting spirit but only scarstisms and egoness... I guess that is why our sports tournaments in Penang haven't been improving but degraded their standard... I'm quite upset to say the fact... =(

By the way, thanks to Wonder for the transportation again... I appreciated it... Thanks... =)

As for me myself, I'm suffering from gastric right now I guess... Replaced hunger with pain... At least, it helps in my slimming down... =P As said, it wasn't easy to get something you want without sacrificing... That teaches me a new rule of life...

~signing off~

T.T

Everything is wrong! It's not right! I'm too afraid to know the truth although I already did... We could not cling on together anymore... If we're fated to be together, we will be! Too tired for everything now... Everything is a fullstop for me now... Everything~ I hated You! Whatever that troubled us! I Hated YOU!!! T.T

All gone...

~signing off~

Miserable.

It just wasn't my day today... Days are tough when you met something unpleasant continueously and it came one by one! Haiz... As for me today, just right Wonder dropped me at my parked car, Just right I gave my "SLK" (small little kenari) a glance, There's a surprise for me... Ta-Da! My car's back mirror had been crashed by someone... That big hole and pieces of glasses were really a BIG surprise! Who ever did it, I gave that particular person the best of my CURSE! F*** You Arsehole! FML! That feeling was unexplainable! Great! I thought I would be late for Sg. Ara... =C

Thank God, Wonder the "AK" could drop me at Sg. Ara... And eventually... On time! I did not expected him to... I'd show him my gratitude in whatever ways! Now he found me annoying... =P I was thinking of ways how was I supposed to get back home after that... I couldn't believed that he's willing to wait for me till I've done my work and drop me back home... To be frank, I'm surprised and... I don't know how to express that feeling... But, Wonder, I'd Love to say a BIG THANK YOU here! Thank you again and again! I was so afraid he might feel awkward there, luckily there's an interesting match to save him from boredom although it has been raining... =) In whatever ways... I'm really......... You know... =D Speechless... Not all feelings can be expressed by words...

By the way, The Expandables wasn't that good... I don't know what its trying to say... The story line wasn't complicated but, their language and the subtitles sucks... =P And, I guess my diet was a success... I'm trying so hard not to eat... But... Good things always have their sacrifices... Gastric pain! =C The pain was worse when you know it's added with Girl's pain... Monthly illness... LOL! Feeling better now... But still bad... Had been whole day... Still, that wouldn't make me to change my mind to get my supper! No!

Thinking of my car and my life gave me a real big headache... Haiz... Money was indeed the problem but of course, with other things on mind... =C I really need a good scream when I have the chance! To let all the feelings out... It's hard keeping them in my heart... Still waiting for that day... =C

Lastly, Thank you again Wonder! Thanks... =)

~signing off~

Pain surely ain't a Pleasure!

Nothing much for today's post actually... One word describes it all... PAIN! You know... girl's stuffs... =P Still gotta get up go work for the official table no matter how...

As for yesterday, the movie was a blast! It was great... That Wonder was emo-ing along the show... I did not realize that Lee Hom was that cute before the movie... Now I know... I bet you know which movie I'm talking about here... Love in Disguise by Wang Lee Hom... The advertisement doesn't look that interesting... But the movie was indeed better than what I thought... =D Bravos! You'll laugh your ass off and got touched by some of the scenes... Go get a ticket now... You may not wanna miss it...

I've been watching movies every week since college life has begun... Now... Gurney's my second home! Of course, friends are the main factors... It depends on who I'm going with sometimes... xD okay... Let me get back with yesterday's stuffs... I'd forgotten that I got that Steamie a new nickname when we were studying at Sunrise McD... RATATOULIE! ( that Italian rat cartoon )I knew that he looked familiar... xD After that, Wonder dropped me home...

At night, for I don't know why, I became moody... =C When Hidea reached home, he's just so into his games and work... I don't know why tears just rolled down themselves... As for being suspicious over him as well... He knew it, he gave me a hug convincing that there's nothing to be worried about... Hidea then found me the MVs that used to be my favourite songs... I've got them now in my phone! Nice recalling those memories... =D

Btw, exam is next week... Wish me luck... =) Got to go now... Bye!

~signing off~