Things not Done~

Things are still quite complicated now... Hardly have time to blog... Exams, Work, and Relationships are killing me! I'm just so tired... Thank God, I've got today to get myself relieved... Thanks to Ah Kiam, Pauline, Ashwin, and Hidea for this trip... =) Although it's just a visit to the Taiping Zoo and Gurney, it helps in everything... It ended up to be quite tiring... Still, I'm so afraid now... Its like whatever decisions I've made, Either someone's going to get hurt... I'm so uncertain about him... Now, I'm also afraid for myself... Which, I doubted his faithfulness... =(

I fell for HIM! At first I thought it was just a crush, which turned out to be not just a crush... Well, people who do not know the whole truth must be thinking that I left Hidea for Him just like that... There just another few reasons behind all these... But, I guess I shall not explain much... I knew myself well... But, it doesn't make me feel any better than a Jerk! Hidea is like a good guy I know... But what people do not know well bout him is that there's just so many stuffs undiscovered by them! Argh!!! I don't know how now... If only they know how am I feeling wouldn't that be like so much better??? I'd really don't know how to express my feelings to them! T.T

I'm really confused with everything now... All I know is that I screwed everthing up! =C

Big Surprise!

Things really got complicated right now... 4 years relationship done... It's actually our problems... But it ended up being my family's problem instead! My Mum is now strongly disagree that I broke up with him... It's now not his fault but mine! Great, my parents are now actually scolding me! They actually supported him more than me!

WTF???

I've got different opinions now... Some agreed and some respected my decision... While some strongly disagree with what I'm doing... People like my Mum and Dad! Damn~ It's my fault la I guess... They say its worth it for me to continue with him... I guess my heart was blew all around~ Before these, my sister is supporting him too... But now my sister just have to shut her ass up as she's afraid that the lecture might be for her after mine... xD

I did my decision very firmly... But now, my parents = BIG FACTOR of RESISTANCE!

They LOVED him!!!

What should I do? I'm stucked! While examination tomorrow! Shit!!!

No Life.

It's great to not having class on some certain days... Today and tomorrow are a part of it... I finally get to woke up late today... But, I did nothing for my exam this coming Wednesday... Yes, NOTHING for Hubungan Etnik! Shit me... All I did today was to go Tesco with Pau, Ah Kiam and him to buy ingredients for spaggethi!!! It tasted somekind of fried rice as we used the different pasta this time... I bought the "alphabet pasta" and it looked like rice when being served... The taste was not bad at least... =D

I got my rest for an hour before I went off to Sg. Ara again... As usual, official table... That girl again... I was way more furious than the last time she did the timer! Only two matches, and it had to end at 11 o'clock! Mata Parker! She did nothing for her job! Talked all way long with her tomboy friend, and treated like as though I'm the one who will be getting the salary and she was not... Kinda fed up with it... I bet everyone would be feeling the same if they were standing at my position... Even the referees said so that they thought only two official tables were working instead of 3!!! Time hardly pass... Damn~

Reached home and all I need to do was to clean up my house... It was all messed up as usual... Thanks to that Berry... I'd killed it if it wasn't a DOG!!! Felt so much better anyway after cleaning the floor... Fuhh~ I guess it was a little worth to do so... It's still my own house anyway... =D

~signing off~

Lots of things happened in these several days... And it happened quite fast... Of course, there were unhappy stuffs and also some happy ones... Things were actually getting quite complicated... All I need is some time... It will heal the pain in me...

Well, since it had been quite a few days since the last post, I shall tell you some of the happenings... It was Ash's birthday on Saturday... We enjoyed hanging-out at Gurney... Happy time passed quite fat... *As usual* Ah Kiam, Ash, Pau and I spent most of our time chatting and shared about our tales... LOL! First, dinner at Sakae Sushi, got a Darlie as a gift... =P Next, was the beach... That time when we were busy talking, Jas and the others urged me to get back home to go online... Which I'm quite upset as I do not like being pushed around... Things were hard to be explained... I knew they were worried, but, I know what I had to do! I was quite stressed-up and very frustrated... All I wanted is to get back what I deserved to! My time! I need something to get my emotion and feelings soothened... I don't mean anything bad here but... You know... Like I said, I need to scream... I still need to... But, maybe I should be alone by that time it happens... =C

The next day was group studying with Wonder, Steven, Jas and Iron Man... Wonder first came to fetch me and helped me to get my "SLK" mirror taped for temporary... After that, we headed to Iron Man's house to get him fetched... Well... I guess we did not really study our Accounts... Instead, we were playing around with the "solution"... Mixture of beer, chocolate, papers, eraser dust, small pieces of broken protractor, the ink of my broken pen, and some other things... I was actually quite furious when Jas gave out the condition that I must totally forget Him and consider Wonder... Love is not a game! I hated to say that but, I was really upset! All I can do was just keep myself quiet... I don't wanna cry there... I don't want to! =C Of course I was really emo... I can't help it!

That night things actually got better... Me and Him settled it nicely and reached our agreements... Now I know, my own decision is the only important thing in whatever I do... Yes, I do listen to opinions... But not too much! I've got my own limitations and whatever I can bear it up to mind... I know what I'm doing and trust me... I do not want to hurt anyone... =1 Let things be natural... It will lead to the right path... I know... I'm sure of it...

Today, I've got to wake up superb damn early for official table in CLHS this morning... The match was supposed to start at 8, but it ended up starting at 9 as the refrees were late... As the match goes on, I found out that our newbie refres, who acted like they've been so experienced and clever enough to guide the matches, their skills were doubted by me! Or I shall say EVERYONE! The match went quite smoothly until the end of the 4th quarter when the game was about to end in 5 seconds time... The score opposite our officials were different from ours... I was fucking sure that it was their mistakes! If they doubted our ability, Don't ask me to do it! I guess I should had messed up the whole game... I hated people with no respect towards me... I may look small, but in me, I DON'T!

I had to admit that I was quite exhausted this afternoon... Fell asleep for a few minutes and I had to get myself refreshed again for official table in Sg. Ara... Finals... The last match was great... Heng Ee vs Chong You... Although both teams were quite supported by me, the audiences made me changed my mind... So I supported Heng Ee instead of being neutral... The attitude of the people who lived there and the way they speak towards the opponent were offendsive.. That kind of spirit should not be happening when it comes to sports... That shows totally no fighting spirit but only scarstisms and egoness... I guess that is why our sports tournaments in Penang haven't been improving but degraded their standard... I'm quite upset to say the fact... =(

By the way, thanks to Wonder for the transportation again... I appreciated it... Thanks... =)

As for me myself, I'm suffering from gastric right now I guess... Replaced hunger with pain... At least, it helps in my slimming down... =P As said, it wasn't easy to get something you want without sacrificing... That teaches me a new rule of life...

~signing off~

T.T

Everything is wrong! It's not right! I'm too afraid to know the truth although I already did... We could not cling on together anymore... If we're fated to be together, we will be! Too tired for everything now... Everything is a fullstop for me now... Everything~ I hated You! Whatever that troubled us! I Hated YOU!!! T.T

All gone...

~signing off~

Miserable.

It just wasn't my day today... Days are tough when you met something unpleasant continueously and it came one by one! Haiz... As for me today, just right Wonder dropped me at my parked car, Just right I gave my "SLK" (small little kenari) a glance, There's a surprise for me... Ta-Da! My car's back mirror had been crashed by someone... That big hole and pieces of glasses were really a BIG surprise! Who ever did it, I gave that particular person the best of my CURSE! F*** You Arsehole! FML! That feeling was unexplainable! Great! I thought I would be late for Sg. Ara... =C

Thank God, Wonder the "AK" could drop me at Sg. Ara... And eventually... On time! I did not expected him to... I'd show him my gratitude in whatever ways! Now he found me annoying... =P I was thinking of ways how was I supposed to get back home after that... I couldn't believed that he's willing to wait for me till I've done my work and drop me back home... To be frank, I'm surprised and... I don't know how to express that feeling... But, Wonder, I'd Love to say a BIG THANK YOU here! Thank you again and again! I was so afraid he might feel awkward there, luckily there's an interesting match to save him from boredom although it has been raining... =) In whatever ways... I'm really......... You know... =D Speechless... Not all feelings can be expressed by words...

By the way, The Expandables wasn't that good... I don't know what its trying to say... The story line wasn't complicated but, their language and the subtitles sucks... =P And, I guess my diet was a success... I'm trying so hard not to eat... But... Good things always have their sacrifices... Gastric pain! =C The pain was worse when you know it's added with Girl's pain... Monthly illness... LOL! Feeling better now... But still bad... Had been whole day... Still, that wouldn't make me to change my mind to get my supper! No!

Thinking of my car and my life gave me a real big headache... Haiz... Money was indeed the problem but of course, with other things on mind... =C I really need a good scream when I have the chance! To let all the feelings out... It's hard keeping them in my heart... Still waiting for that day... =C

Lastly, Thank you again Wonder! Thanks... =)

~signing off~

Pain surely ain't a Pleasure!

Nothing much for today's post actually... One word describes it all... PAIN! You know... girl's stuffs... =P Still gotta get up go work for the official table no matter how...

As for yesterday, the movie was a blast! It was great... That Wonder was emo-ing along the show... I did not realize that Lee Hom was that cute before the movie... Now I know... I bet you know which movie I'm talking about here... Love in Disguise by Wang Lee Hom... The advertisement doesn't look that interesting... But the movie was indeed better than what I thought... =D Bravos! You'll laugh your ass off and got touched by some of the scenes... Go get a ticket now... You may not wanna miss it...

I've been watching movies every week since college life has begun... Now... Gurney's my second home! Of course, friends are the main factors... It depends on who I'm going with sometimes... xD okay... Let me get back with yesterday's stuffs... I'd forgotten that I got that Steamie a new nickname when we were studying at Sunrise McD... RATATOULIE! ( that Italian rat cartoon )I knew that he looked familiar... xD After that, Wonder dropped me home...

At night, for I don't know why, I became moody... =C When Hidea reached home, he's just so into his games and work... I don't know why tears just rolled down themselves... As for being suspicious over him as well... He knew it, he gave me a hug convincing that there's nothing to be worried about... Hidea then found me the MVs that used to be my favourite songs... I've got them now in my phone! Nice recalling those memories... =D

Btw, exam is next week... Wish me luck... =) Got to go now... Bye!

~signing off~

Down~

Everyday seems to be so tiring for me... Study, work, study, work! =( At least... Even some small little amount of money can help me much... Haiz... Today I did not drive to college... Rest for a day... Wonder fetched... Wakakaka... Thank you! I appreciated your help... =)

After class went KFC for Lunchfast ( Breakfast + Lunch )... Super damn hungry... But no appetite when the foods arrived... For some certain reasons... = And my sei boh seems to be very down too... She's so dreamy in class... Staring against the wall... Awww~ I felt sad for her too seeing her like that...

Came back home not even an hour, had to go for official tables again... The matches were bored... I did not care at all anyway... What I want was the salary... LOL... I managed the time quite well... Or else I bet they wouldn't be finishing on time... Credits to me! xD

My lips hurts... The skin somehow keep on getting dried up easily... Haiz... Nowadays I'd been having weird dreams... Its all about some people... Belonging to the same criteria of somekind that means something to me... Haha... Funny... It's the only enjoying moment... In my DREAMS! xD

Gotta go now... My Ah Bii and the others waiting for me to go crazy again... Chaos~

~signing off~

Bad Luck Day - 13th on a Friday -

It wasn't quite a pleasant day today... =C Things did not started right and also did not ended right... I quarreled with Hideaki before dropping Him to work this morning and realized that I still have more than enough time to go to the bank... So, I went to the stupid Pulau Tikus Public Bank to get my things done... It was so hard to get my car parked! Parking is always an issue there! I had to drive round the building for at least 3 times looking for an empty car park... Thank God I saw that uncle leaving and it was just right in front of the bank... I got my things done and the time I was turning my car out from the car park, that idiotic Toyota blocked my lane... That was when I banged the Tong! Great! I'd gotten some scratches on my car bumper as a result from it!

When I reached college, I did not know that I was too early for QS tutorial and too late for Account lecture... Clever me~ I'd no choice but to just waited for 45 minutes for the QS tutorial... Found Wonder through texting... It was so miserable sitting in front of the study room like a wandering dog with nothing to do... All I can do was to scope guys... Ahh~ I saw Him! =P That was when I also realize that our Genting trip is still in the duration of Hungry Ghost Month! I surely do not want to meet any thrilling experience there... Not mentioning the roller-coaster and Solero Shot! You know which one I'm talking about ( something worse than that )... Today's tutorial's attendance wasn't that good... If I knew our grades will be only informed next Monday, I wouldn't have went! Wastage of my time and petrol...

For I don't know why... I wasn't feeling well today since morning until now ( midnight )... I had stomach cramp, bad headache, backache and lost of appetite! I was yawning for at least 20 times in tutorial class! Wondering what's making me feeling so tired... On my way back home, I guess I was really tired and was quite dreamy while DRIVING, and yes... Oh yes~ I banged again! This time it was onto the pavement just right in front of Union High School... You know... There's always something creepy about that particular spot... I think my luck was just very low today... Furthermore, it's 13th on a Friday! Had never been good! But luckily nothing happened to the car, but my backache and headache was worse than before...

I rested just right at the time I reached home... Got myself a good sleep until 7 something to 8! After bathe, I felt alot better... Refreshed! went out for dinner, or actually should I call it a supper instead since it was at 11 pm? Whatever~ I was superb damn full! The food was nice... Bali Hai~ Aww~ But the last piece of cake was bloating up my tummy... Making me felt like puking... I can hardly digest... T.T Now reached home and the first thing I did was sweeping the floor! Messy~ Then here I go... Blogging! That's all I got... will try to update my blog more often now... =D

~signing off~

I Hate Rainy Days...

It was quite a nice day at first... We went skipping our micro and H.E. tutorial... Go Prangin makan steamboat... =P Hideaki caught me a cute Mashimaro from the arcade machine... Lovin' it... Superb cute... Shoot Wonder till gai gai... He beh tahan cause he did not "fish" one himself... =P Teased each other like crazy... So now all of us have got a nick name for each other... Let me start off with the Jasmine a.k.a. Ah Bii ( Lu chin sui), Wonder a.k.a. TomBoy/Wonder Girl, Me a.k.a. the Shrek! Here goes Alex a.k.a. Rango/ Kuai Gong, Iron Man a.k.a. Crayon Shin Chan, Steven a.k.a. Steam Vern... I think the nicknames will be soaring until the max! xD

It was quite tiring once the happy moments were over... I have to get my summons paid... So I went over to SWC room to get it done... Mana tau??? Tak buka!!! No one's inside... I thought I came on the wrong time but it was clearly written from 3 - 5 pm... I went chun chun in between... I bet it was impossible to be way too early or too late... I ended up leaving my name and contact for the First Aid Unit member to wait for further update... Damnit!

Drove home and I couldn't believe I still have strength to log-in Facebook and Chatted with that Doink! You know who you are if you read this! xD Ended up sleeping at 5.30 which I have to wake up again at 6.20 to get myself ready for official table! NUI! Reached there chun chun on time and done one match... My God! If only I can get that Girl's butt off the stupid timer's chair and take over her place, Trust me! A normal match doesn't need to running for 2 hours! And that duration is NOT SHORT! The second match started late and it rained halfway! Now GOOD! It have been postphoned and I lose another income of RM8! Actually it was quite worth it going up so far to get that RM16... If only I knew! DAMN~ Down~

Then, now worst still... I nearly forgotten that stupid Hideaki Yoshida would be going for football until 1 something again... That drives me crazier and loses my temper. Lagi DOWN~ At least I've got two mine babi waiting for me to finish up this post and read it... =P Wonder Girl/ TomBoy and Ah Bii ( Lu chin sui) xD

~signing off~

Gurney Day!

Kinda nice weather today... Had fun as well... =) Let me start off with something good, after my H.E. lecture, Jasmine, Jia Min, Wonder-FUL, Steven and I went Gurney for a movie... Watched Tekken! The main character, Jin was so damn F***ing CUTE! Yeng! If only he's my guy~ If only... xD Well, I guess I was really very very talkative today since the way from college to Gurney and then back to college... The movie was quite nice... The characters were really alike the game... Haha... BUT, quite obscene la... I bet Wonder very steam watching the obscene part... Wakakkakaka... Before the movie, we went Wong Kok for lunch... Not bad, Wonder became the Tomboy and I get to eat my Donashi from my Laopo Jia Min!!! =P The times were quite enjoying... Jasmine was so happy that her Steven followed us along... MIRACLE! Hahaha...

On the way back to college time really Bo Lat... Every single time after a movie, I felt so tired! I guess I'm really going older after all... Still, having English class... Bo huat... As for my English class, my coursework marks was quite a disappointment... I couldn't believe I've got a B+!!! Down! I was like expecting for an A! My lecturer said it was because of my grammar test... Haiz... Oh ya, my Journal! Funny! I wrote something about Elvis Presley... I knew his chinese nickname when he was famous was "Mao Wang"... Having it forgotten what was the english name, which is The King of Rock and Roll, I wrote The King of CAT! My lecturer did say something bout it before giving us back our journals, not mentioning the name of the writer which is me, luckily... I thought that the name Elvis Presley was familiar... Then, she gave me a glance... I knew it at once! I was so embarassed! =P When I read my Journal, she gave me a comment, NO DIRECT TRANSLATION! Hahahahaha...

After college, I meet up with Pauline, Ashwin, Ah Kiam and Walter for Lok Lok at Che Chao Hang... Ate alot! Couldn't believe that we actually ate up to RM57! That was quite a big sum... Hmmm... Then, we played at the playground, those people who passed by surely thought that we're actually destroying it... Espeacially the see-saw! You know... Our weight matters! xD There's a little girl playing there as well... She's really daring... Keep on asking us to play with her... I pity her dad... =( He's a mute... I saw a loving heart in him... Aww~

After eating, back to Gurney AGAIN! Told ya it's Gurney-day... Hahaha... Ate ice-creams in McD and spent time joking and chatted happily... Good times passed extremely fast... Dropped Walter home and Get back home myself savely... You know... Chinese Ghost Month... Be extra careful!

Got my bath and settle down comfortably in front of the desktop... =D Hideaki will be home anytime... I shall end here... Chaos...

~signing off~

Hair DYED!!!

Hardly have time dressing up myself nowadays... At last I managed to get my hair dyed yesterday... It's lighter now... GOOD! Now I think I looked like Ah Lian, Ah Beng's girlfriend... Luckily, my mum paid for the bill! Weehee~ Or else, I'll be spending RM95 for my new blonde hair! LOL... Just done watching few movies I managed to find in my sister's room... Done the 3 of them... Its all either about Vampires or ghosts! Not forgetting its Hungry Ghost Month now.. So people, BEWARE! My advice : Don't go back too late... (Don't go clubbing for a month!) That don' kill... haha.. No beach swimming, Playing or joking around, and also do not simply shouting out vulgar words anywhere anytime!

P.S : These are for those who believes in supernatural stuffs like me! =D For those who do not share the same thinking as mine, do take it as an advise from me... No harm trying...

Today I felt so bad fooling Wonder in school... Me and Jia Min pakat-ed lying to him saying that my car was puntured in the middle of the "sua loh" on the way to college... Who knows he's for real... Thank god it's not really that far from college... LOL! Good thing : He's being kind hearted! In another way, he's a doink! Funny... =P But I did not fully lied about it! I really doubt that my tyre was or not puntured that time... Haha...

Aww... And I missed Jas! I wanted to show her my new hair colour so badly! Asking for her opinion! But, she's not feeling well... Hmmm~ Shall wait for tomorrow... Facebook is getting boring for me nowadays... Nothing much to do with it other than uploading my pictures there... Just too lazy to do it here... Felt quite troublesome... =C

Gotta go over to Sg. Ara to do official table for the under-16 matches awhile more... Bo huat... No money means got to work extra hard... Even RM1 means alot to me! But still I'm buying clothes again! I'm way too TEMPTED! At the same time I shouldn't be over worked as my final exam is coming! i still haven't find my mood to start studying! I'm so DEAD!

I've got too many things to be written here... But, my time and brain doesn't allow me to do so... =C Perhaps some other time... Gonna eat my Maggi Mee now... Haha... See~ really no money... xD Chaos~

~signing off~

Still waiting~

It's now 12.19 am and I'm still waiting for that fat arse! Play ball play ball play till dunno what time... Kau Giak! Right now, my MUM is SUPER ANNOYING!!! She's always like that whenever she bought new mobile phone..."Von ar, help me do this... Von ar, why so hard to use eh? Von ar, why the function different from Motorola eh? Von ar, this ar that ar~" Kek si khi... I told her... She better don't buy phone then... LOL... Can save all the trouble from changing Sim card to setting all the stuffs including downloading ringtones for her! xD

On the other side, that fat Hidea! Still keberatan coming back! And guess what? QS quiz again tomorrow... Thank God I aled done memorizing Formulas! I can't believe that my mum could actually annoy me since just now when she came back from work till now... Still can't get over her new mobile! Fuhh~ If only she's not my mum, trust me... I'll strangle her IMMEDIATELY! =P Now she's complaining bout her ringtones... She's even planning to put the song I hated so much as her ringtone... NO!!~~~ T.T

College life's good until now... Other than some particular person that makes me don't feel really good... My Laopos surely knew who I'm referring to... I don't mean to isolate her on purpose... It's just that we can hardly cope with each other's topic... The worst thing is what Jia Min told me today is that one of my classmate suddenly came up to her and told us not to do so! Okay... Not to be mean, but I just seriously think that person seriously doesn't know how we felt as well... If only, she's viewing it from my point, then she'll understand! To Jas : If you read this post, Then you'll know what happened! LOL!

And I dunno since when I had another boyfriend named WONDER! LOL! After my H.E. class, I told my tutor that I saw her in Prangin Mall with her friend last week... Then, she ask me whom I went with... "Pi dengan boyfriend ar? Wonder ar???" I was like NO!!! There she goes, "Gurau aje... Hahaha..." Good Joke huh??? Wonder, If you read this make sure you don't kembang... Hahaha...

Last thing before I sign off, At Last! Co-cu DONE!!! I don't need to sunbathe myself under the stupid hot sun! only two days... Its enough to get me tanned, black, dark or whatever to do with something black! It would at least take me Months to get fairer back... Pity me... Just to get that 2 stupid credit hour...

At last my mum found her favourite songs and still choosing which one to be set as ringtone...

Now, 12.47am... Hidea's still not back yet... Patience climbing till the top of my head ready to jump off ade... I felt like just lock that damn door and just go to bed! You see~ Sometimes I really hate him! But those feelings subsides after a momment... Haiz... What to do? Perhaps one day I might just explode and give it an end... He better not make me do so... I guess i shall end here... still gotta reply that Wonder on Facebook ko... =S

~signing off~

MAKE-OVER!

I seriously need an extreme make-over... If only I can be a lil bit thinner and a lil fairer, then TA-Da! I'm good! xD I'm still stalking her!!! Can't get over YET... It's because I still don't think I'm hotter than her... One day, Jasmine and I should really surprise these people and let them know... Currently, we're staying in low profile... Or should I say its only me? xD

To Jas : You always got the bees! I got the FLIES! So, to win the "people" I'm stalking, I must first win u... Pai sei lao po! Hahaha...

Btw, is there any method to get fairer FASTER? When I say fast, i mean real FAST! Don't tell me things like go bleach yourself... Trust me, I'll strangle you to death.... =P My colour and fats are the only ones I need to handle 1st!

Last nite, I watched the Kumar Drag thing and I was like =O... LOL! "I was buying some cosmetics when one ugly girl went to the counter and ask the counter girl, What colour suit my face ar?, The counter girl is like Any colour la. Making the counter girl miserable only. For me, I would say Your face ar? NAH! SIMEN!" That's part of the joke...

I hope I don't need simen on my face... LOL... Now no $ summore cannot pamper myself like how she did... Saddening nia... I should get over it... But, still not YET! Soon I will...

I dunno why, I LOVE comparing myself against his ex ka liao... But, she's the main one I'm comparing... My, I hope she won't see this... Else she'd knew I'm talking bout her... But I don't think she will la anyway... She's those type of popular people whom other people stalk eh... Not those type who stalk people, for example ME! =P I keep on saying she's bitchy, but that doesn't make me feel any better of course... Still... She's bitchy that's why she's popular and well-known! But, I still gotta admit that she's real hot! What to do? That's the FACT!

Okay, I think I should stop all these... Oh ya, Mummy bought us sisters a new cupboard and new bad! spent Rm2700 for all these... It's good but also a big headache for us! Was wondering how to fit the cupboard into my room... Now I have to make shiftings all over again and that will create big mess to be cleared up! NO GOOD!

Now, both my dawgs are fighting... Don't really know how to differenciate which is playing and fighting anyway... Shall let them be...

~signing off~

Having financial crisis lately... The thoughts of examinations and asignments are really pulling me down... Haiz... What to do? Things happened not in the right time! I bet this might remain for quite a moment... =C Lately, I felt so depressed... Money probelms huh i guess... Part time job do ease my burden a little... My new black pup, Berry is really giving me hard time clearing up the mes he made at home... I think this dog is just lack of discipline... Work + Assignments + Examination + Money = BURDEN!!! Hidea doesn't make me feel any better anyway... I'd though he'll be... Well, sometimes maybe??? By the way, college life is actually quite okay if you're staying near... The distance is the problem... I felt so messed up now... Feelings often swings around.. Don't really know what myself is trying to do... Happiness and sadness at the same time... Mixed-up... As for me and him, I really don't know what to say... Things doesn't seem good... =C I need a break... To pull back the feelings we used to have... Depression sometimes kills! I'm not trying to say I'll be commiting suicide... But, that feeling is like ARGGHHH~~ Not good! I don't like it! At times, I hate him! I'd compare him to some other guys out there and felt that I could had found a better one! But... it's just not right... I'll admit that I fell for some other guys sometimes... But i knew they are not as faithful as he is... Still both things and human change! Who knows if one day when he success, he'll be looking out for some other girls as well... I'm not so confident with myself! T.T I still stalk at his ex after so long... Just couldn't get over it... Maybe someday... Someday when the truth will be unleash... I'll know the answer... It's just not the time now... Sooner or later... I'll know~

+*+yenney+*+